You've Got Voicemail

23/05/2006 13:24

Hey Matt, it’s me. I was hoping you would’ve picked up on the second try, but then I realised you had that big meeting today. So sorry for trying to call you, I just wanted to see how you were! I also wanted to know what time you were going to come back to the apartment, as I was going to go out with a few of the girls and didn’t want you to be left all by yourself. Danielle wants us to try out this new yoga place just south of the park, even though we all know how good I am at yoga after last time. Maybe you should meet up with us afterwards? Jen is dying to tell you about one of the new guys she’s seeing just so you can do a little background check and see if you know him. Let me know what you think, and call me back soon baby. Kiss kiss. 

31/05/2006 15:36

Matt please please please pick up! I have so much exciting news (and gossip) to share with you, so I’m just going to spill it all over voicemail. First of all, when I arrived in the office this morning I saw that Jane, yes evil Jane, had packed up all of her things, and it looked like she was gone for good! Danielle came rushing in to tell me the news—the magazine is looking for a new editor! I knew you were right, the opportunity would come if I waited for it. And, get this, later today Jane stormed back into the office, basically knocked down the boss’s door, and like totally unleashed on him. Dani and I were just standing in the corner watching, and man does that chick really turn evil. Anyways, I hope you have some gossip from your workplace to tell me when I get home, which should be around five if yoga doesn’t run overtime. Love you, see you then!

05/06/2006 10:46

Matt, where are you? You said you would be home in time for us to catch a taxi to the airport. You are half an hour late. If you aren’t here in the next 15 minutes we are going to miss our flight, and I am going to opt out of ever seeing your parents. Suits me just fine. Just please let me know what time you think you are going to be home by. Love you.

08/06/2006 20:48

Matt, I can’t believe you would ignore me now. After all of this. I’m sorry, okay? Your mom just freaks me out. I know you said I technically couldn’t escape because we were in the middle of nowhere Montana, but I just had to take the truck out for a drive. Can we please go back to the city? I can’t take another second being lectured over my career choices, my haircut, and my future children by people I barely even know! I’ve only met your parents twice before Matt, I just don’t think staying with them for a whole week was a good idea. What if I don’t want to have kids? What if I don’t want to give my whole career I’ve worked for away just to please your parents? I just feel like we haven’t really discussed these things before, and I’m not sure that I’m quite ready to yet. Just please talk to me Matt. I didn’t mean to storm out like that and embarrass you. Oh god, I hope I’m not an embarrassment. I’m turning the truck around now, please be there when I get back. I love you. 

05/08/2006 22:12

Matt, please call me. I can’t live at Danielle’s place any longer. Her singing in the shower, choice of meals and choice of men have started to really annoy me and freak me out at the same time. I know half of my things are still in our old apartment. I could move straight back in if you’d let me. We could have things back the way they were. The way they are meant to be. You know that we are perfect for each other Matt. We keep each other motivated, we keep our heads in the game while being bloody good partners in crime. You’re kidding yourself if you think you can’t see it. I’m sorry for the things I said at your parents house that late night, and the way I yelled at you when we were back in the city. Please believe that I was just afraid. Afraid of commitment, of change, of things actually working out the way they were supposed to. Maybe sometimes I felt like I didn’t deserve you, Matt, and I made you pay for it when you shouldn’t have. It’s not your fault that I am so insecure. Matt you were my everything, and I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to fully express that before. Please call me back so we can talk this out. Love you. 

13/08/2006 09:37

Matt, I was just calling to let you know that my brother is going to come into the city this afternoon to help me move my things back into the apartment. He also offered to pick up the couch from the storage unit that we left sitting there a few months ago. Please ring me back and let me know if that’s all good. Also, me and the girls are going jogging around the park at six o’clock this evening if it is still warm, so I won’t be back until around seven. But don’t you worry mister, because that will still leave plenty of time for us to do our skincare and movie night! I’m thinking a good old Disney classic, like a Cinderella or a Sleeping Beauty if you will. Call me later please my love. 

09/10/2006 11:26

Matt I cannot believe you won’t answer your phone right now. I have the biggest news ever! I would tell you in person, but unfortunately this news cannot wait another minute. So you know how my boss is like a posh uptight prick? Well all of his corporate connections get him invited to everything under the sun, and I didn’t realise this but in being his editor he gives me the option to attend whatever he doesn’t want to go to! So, this Thursday he’s too busy on his mega-super-yacht with his twenty kids and his third wife to attend the Knicks game with courtside tickets. So can you guess who received those tickets? YOU AND ME BABY! Clear your calendar because absolutely nothing can top this. Talk to you later, love you. 

17/11/2006 03:05

Matty baby please pick up the phone Jen wants to ask a good guy how to attract one! She’s been into five different bars already and still hasn’t found anything of value. And you don’t have to worry about me finding anyone, because they all know that you are the one. I have this huge rock on my ring finger to prove it. Gotta go, Danielle is off trying to find a sixth fine establishment. Love you! 

01/12/2006 12:23

Matt, why won’t you pick up? I have been calling people all day trying to find a venue for an August 2007 wedding and there is NOTHING. At this point we are going to have to get married in Montana in your dad’s barn. Please don’t take that seriously, I hate Montana. But please help me baby, I have no more ideas. That vineyard was so ideal and magical that now anything else just seems like settling for less. What about a beach wedding? We could go north to Cape Cod or even down to Florida. No scratch that I hate sand. This ruins everything you know. How am I supposed to have the perfect day as a magical fairy summer princess if I can’t even marry my prince in a royally-gorgeous place? Please call me back if you have any ideas at all, because I am at a loss.

04/01/2007 16:39

Matty baby I just wanted to know if you’d be able to drive me to the airport on Wednesday? I know this is super last minute but the boss said I should catch the earlier flight just to be sure I’m down there ready in time to start reporting on the event. Plus this would give me extra time to check out more wedding venues! I’m thinking the gardens will be the best. Imagine summertime in Orlando, with everyone by the beach. It’s perfect. I love you so much Matt. I can’t wait to see the place where we are going to seal our forever together. 

08/01/2007 07:08

Matt, I hope you are receiving this message. The pilot said the conditions are super rough so we aren’t going to take off for another hour or so. It feels like they’re holding us hostage or something, and I just didn’t want you to freak out if I didn’t call you on time when I landed. One lady sitting next to me in the airport complimented my ring once you had left. Then she told me how her ex husband left her for her sister and they moved into a trailer park together. Typical Floridians I guess. I wish you could’ve taken some time off to come with me. The New York skyline doesn’t really need another skyscraper, does it? You know I’m joking, I’m always proud of you, I just wish you were here. Love you, talk to you soon baby. 

08/01/2007 8:43 

Hey Matt, I’m trying really hard to stay calm right now, but, oh my god how do I say this? They’ve said that it’s over. They’ve lost signal or something from the storm and there’s nothing they can do but try to keep the plane in the right direction. I know you can hear the screaming in the background, but I promise you we are okay. I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. It’s all going to be fine. I just called to tell you that I love you forever. The cabin crew are telling us to brace now. This must be the end. I’m sorry that our future is being taken away like this. I’m trying not to cry. I’m really sorry Matt. Please keep living your life. Design as many funny-looking buildings as you can, and keep the apartment tidy for me. Even visit your parents and tell them I really did love them. I love you, and I’m sorry it had to end this way. 

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